Sunday, March 28, 2010

Hooray for Vacation

On Friday night I met some new people and some recently formed friends at my sister's house. She and her fiance hosted a grilling/Wii Rock Band party. SO MUCH FUN!!! I loved playing Rock Band. I was great on bass, drums, and vocals. I didn't get to play the guitar parts at all. A great time was had by all.

After 5 hours of sleep I got up and went to drum corps rehearsal yesterday. It was so very very windy that when we were doing our visual block outside, we couldn't march backwards in straight lines because the wind kept pushing us around. Sad but funny.

The visual caption head, who is the US champion brisket smoker, make smoked brisket and smoked turkey for us for lunch. There was only so much to go around, and apparently some of the teenagers took several helpings (the rest of us had one helping). The guy who made the meal didn't even get to eat any of it because the little piggies took all of it and took all the beverages, too. He was telling us this happened last night at dinner after rehearsal, how he got up at 4am to get everything together to bring, then he didn't get to eat anything for 14 hours because people were taking several helpings. Several others also didn't get to eat because of this. So, at the dinner table I posted a comment on the Facebook wall of the kid that was named, saying that I heard he had taken 5 helpings of food and that I felt he needed to buy lunch for the other guy. I read what I wrote to the entire table full of people, we all felt it was appropriate for someone so greedy to be publicly called out on it, so I posted it.

Well, this morning I wake up to a message from this guy's mom, who does a lot of volunteer work for the corps. She was hopping mad that I dared correct her kid in public. I understand her being mad, because I'm sure both she and the kid are embarrassed, but I stand by what I said and the forum I chose to say it in. It's drum corps, baby, and you get called out it you do stupid greedy stuff that negatively affects people.

I completely understand why she thinks what I did was out of line, but she said she would make amends to the brisket man, which is a better ending that what would have happened had any of us tried to talk to her in person. She told me I needed to speak directly to her if I have a problem with her kids' behavior, but what she doesn't see is that we've done so in the past, and nothing has been corrected. At least the public posting is getting the desired result.

So she can be mad at me all she wants and stomp around and tell me it's not my job to correct her kids. I disagree. I'm not going to run find anyone's mommy if I see or hear about them doing something that is harming someone else or depriving someone else. I'm going to address it in a manner that I know will get some results. If others are too chicken to do that, then I'll play the 'bad guy'. Teachers correct kids publicly all the time, our drum corps instructors correct people all the time, the corps members correct people on their behavior all the time, and it's obvious that kids respond to what is posted on Facebook. I feel I chose correctly.

Discuss.....I already have assumptions on what the moms in the group will say, but I'd like to see if I am right about what you're thinking.

I'm going camping in a little bit. I'm not sure if I'll have cell phone coverage out there, but if I do I'll try to keep up with things here.

Hooray for camping!


Jilly said...

if he's a teenager, he should know better than to be greedy and rude. it's a standard potluck rule that you take one helping of firsts and then if every has had firsts, you can go back for seconds.

But i also think the man who was offended should have been the one to say something. Why? because too many people complain but then leave it to others to say something. He was the injured party, therefore, he should have mustered up the gumption to say something. I leanred a long time ago that no one is going to fight my battles for me, and if they do, I don't deserve any respect. In life, I often want to fight battles for people I love, but that's not my place. My place is to support them and comfort them while they fight for themselves.

That said, sure the kid isn't an adult yet, but when's his momma going to cut the apron strings? He's in an adult organization and so he should start to act like one. It's nice his momma helps out, but i HATE helicopter parents, and she sounds like one. I'd be embarrassed for him that his mom is like that.

is that what you expected a mom to say?

vq said...

I have no issue at all with your actions.

I think that in the future, several large signs should be put in place saying "quantities limited--please be polite and make sure everyone gets to eat!" Maybe the problem could be headed off that way.

Catz said...

most places like that I've been to have signs up. I agree with all. all of you have good points. I don't think there is a wrong way but I do have to say the boy was greedy and unthoughtful about others.

Have 1st's and then once everyone's eaten then go back for 2nds.

Spidey said...

the kid is a little piggy cause his mommy hasn't taught him any manners. public humiliation should be used more often. maybe we wouldn't have so many thoughtless people running around.

Mrs. Tree said...

I think if there were another, more private way of pointing out the crime, it should have been used. If you're trying to build cohesion in a group, tactfully saying, at the time of the action, Hey, let's save some for everyone, might make the boy momentarily ashamed, but also, would give him a chance to learn from older people who lead by example. Now you've gotten up the umbrage of the mother and turned into a much bigger drama than it needed to be. And the next time someone doesn't like a person, he will just broadcast it on fb and that will be your court of opinion.

UrbanStarGazer said...

How old was the kid? Teenager as in 13 or 14? Or teenager as in 17 or 18?

If he was a little teenager, I don't know that I agree with the public lashing and I agree with Jilly, it should have come from the brisket man.

If he was an older teenager, then I'm okay with the public lashing but still think it should have come from the brisket man.

Bottom line is that it comes down to how they're raised. If one of my kids or nieces or nephews did that, I'd be mortified. But, people who feel that way teach their children not to do such things.