"This book cover reminds me of the cover photo of my project when I was at Columbia. I missed P.E. because I was on a farm in Pennsylvania with my back to the camera. And my hair was braided and long. My P.E. coach wanted to fail me for missing class, but he couldn't. He just couldn't. He passed me with flying colors. You know, I had a 4.0 at Columbia."
"Do you have any New York Times authors? Nononononononononono, not New York Times bestsellers. New York Times authors, like Thomas Friedman. Where's his new book?"
"I want some books on marathons. I'm training for a marathon. Oh no, not these. I really want something on breathing...breathing and stretching. Stretching. No, I saw those. Those are like yoga. I really want a book on breathing while running. Breathing."
"And I don't want any rewards. This is like getting a bad manicure over and over again."---
As spoken to me by a colorful character tonight at work. She complained about our service, asked for authors who don't exist, then had my staff running around to find things for her until I told them to stop because she wasn't going to buy them anyway. I was right. She only bought a magazine...the only item she actually picked up by herself. And she attempted insults the entire time.
I had to make a decision between keeping her calm and getting her out of the store as fast as possible, or insisting she leave immediately and risking her blowing up and creating a huge scene. I opted for the former, and I think it was the right choice. I think she was wanting me to push her buttons. I didn't give her the satisfaction.
I thoroughly laughed when she had gone.